greatoldjohn | TLV Inbox

He makes a face. Don't compare him to Misty, ew.

"Yes, because in our case, John, it's going to get me killed." There's a bit of chill to his tone there. "I know exactly who I am and what I d- what I am capable of. And yet I am able to move past my discomfort to seek assistance if I do require it."

He folds his arm across his chest, almost defensively.

"Miss Quigley-- my sum rejection of her attempt at control was nothing less than a threat. By rejecting that you reject her, completely, because her experiences suggests that if she is not able to manipulate someone then they will not tolerate her, something my fury as the conversation escalated only served to confirm further."

Yes, of course, Arthur. It's just fine to compare John to her but heaven fucking forbid-

Moving on. Moving on. He can be the adult here. He's getting better at it.

He makes sure to keep his tone gentle.

[ Which is why you're a warden, Arthur. But we're not the only one who've had... harrowing experiences in life. And right now, she feels threatened by the information in Natalie's file. Information I am privy to.

And given her viewpoint regarding people who are not part of her 'team'...]

Even a month in, it's still a little jarring sometimes when John chooses to be calm and reasonable, when Arthur keeps half-preparing himself to get bit back. But every time that anticipation gets disrupted, it gets easier not to expect it the next time.

He purses his lips, but the moment to process settles the coldness in his tone.

"Because she can't control me, she can't trust me," he finishes tiredly. "Because there is no ability in her to take it on faith that I would respect her wishes."

[ Precisely. ]

John sounds tired as well, but less restrained than he had a moment ago. Arthur settling out is all the positive reinforcement he needs to keep being calm and reasonable.

...it helps that they aren't constantly in terrible peril that has them at odds on how to handle it.

[ Which leaves us at an impasse: to acquiesce to her 'friendship' would remove her fears and make her more willing to be reasonable, but it would also reinforce behaviors and beliefs that are harmful and, no doubt, necessary for her to shed in order to graduate. ]

Beat.

[ ...I also know you won't and frankly, you shouldn't fucking have to anyway. I'm just unsure what other options there are for an immediate relief of tensions. ]

"Yes and no," he says, and there's a slightly wry edge to his tone. "Now that we have at least some indication of where the issues lies, we can act around it accordingly. I've got no issue with being cordial with Miss Quigley, and recognising that her more infuriating behaviours come from such a place make them... not more tolerable, by any means, but it gives us the ability to examine them with her rather than rage against her."

[ You sound more sure of the theory than you did before, ] he notes mildly enough. But there are other things to take into account. More important questions.

[Are you feeling less vexed by the problem, at least? ]

"It's--" Don't call him out like that John. "It's a theory that makes sense, given our understanding, so working within its parameters until we can work on an alternate one that fits better is only reasonable."

But his shoulders do finally lose some of their tension, that he hadn't been aware had been creeping up with his defensiveness. "But... yes. It helps. Having a path through the weeds rather than just getting constantly tangled."

[What do you think of as the path? I'm still not sure how I'm supposed to proceed with her.]

[ He's very much of a mind that if he's going to have to manage her the whole time, he's not sure there's a friendship to salvage. In fact, the more he thinks about it, the more he's trying not to just outright mourn what he thought they had.

Maybe once she'd liked him for himself, but he wonders if it even matters now that he's Natalie's warden. ]

"At this point I'll be happy to get through a single conversation that doesn't end with someone screaming," he huffs. "But we now have the ability to take the conversation at a better pace, where we can check our footing and avoid getting tangled in traps we can't see, so we can get to the other side unharmed."

[I suppose so.]

Not as comforted as he ought to be but he'll try to keep his spirits up.

[I was also very clear with Pagan that the banging needs to stop. I'm going to stay with you when the next discussion happens, and if she complains, I'll point that out as an issue as well.]

Arthur has very much reached the point where he doesn't care to win a conversation with Misty; he just doesn't want to lose.

But that gets a groan, and he tips his head back a bit. "Fucking hell, the banging is so childish." That it works every time is exhausting. "If she'd done it one more bloody time I was not going to be held responsible for my actions."

[The understanding I've gotten from reading back is that wardens are always responsible for their actions. ]

Very very wry. His tone softens, though.

[We'll handle it. We've dealt with worse than Misty Quigley.]

Arthur just rolls his eyes.

"We have, yes. Something that's much easier to recognise outside of her presence. And- she hasn't actually tried killing me yet," he adds, with a deadpan flatness, "so really, she wouldn't even rank on our list."

[The fact that we have a list really should be the most worrying thing.]

And that comes with low, evil-sounding chuckle.

"Given the fates of people who end up on our list, I'd be more worried about someone here making the effort to land themselves on it."

But with all of that worrying out of his system, he feels far more confident in being able to make his goddamn tea without hurting himself, or John.

[Personally, I'm enjoying the lack of new additions.]

He likes this little domestic existence he'd getting to have with Arthur. He likes going to the library and reading poetry, going to work and knitting up gifts. Going to the wardrobe and helping Arthur with things.

"Yeah. It's..."

It's a strange little life, that they're carving out for themselves here. Even if it was only temporary, for all that it was with a purpose in mind, their deals with the Admiral... it's something akin to the life he used to have. That he'd enjoyed having.

That he didn't think he deserved to have again. Not after everything.

"More peaceful, than I would have expected. Frankly a part of me can't help but wonder when the other shoe's going to drop."

[Other than forgetting who we are and being other people in a completely different place somewhere out in space for a week.]

Just keeping perspective.

He huffs a soft laugh out. "Well, say it like that and it sounds like a bad thing."

[Not *bad*, per se, but certainly not peaceful.]

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