greatoldjohn | TLV Inbox

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[in a rather deep voice] "This is John Doe. Please leave your message. I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I may respond in text if I'm currently with Arthur. Apologies."

Now Moved To: Inbox: Act II - please tag in there!

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[She curls stiffly into herself, her eyes and every other part of her hard - except for the one gentle hand that curls over the rat in her sleeve.]

Then you're not going to get anything that you want from me.

What do you think I want from you?

[ He's watching her. ]

Admissions of guilt, apologies, regret, remorse, attempts at making amends.

[She ticks each item off on her fingers.]

Everything you've been screaming at me to give you.

[ Slowly, methodically- ]

We know you're guilty because I caught you in the act. I don't care if you feel regret or remorse. And I never asked you for amends. I told you about the purpose behind the cooking lessons so that you'd know that what it was so you could make the choice knowingly. But I don't actually care.

[ A pause. ]

I do want an apology, yes. Because if you care about me at all, then it doesn't matter if you thought you were doing the right thing at the time. You should be able to admit that you did the wrong thing to me and to Arthur because you did. Trying to do the right thing by Natalie and ending up doing the wrong thing to us isn't mutually exclusive. Doing what you did to us for Natalie doesn't justify what you did to us. And you need to stop pretending it does.

Then it sounds like we're at an impasse, John. Because no matter what I feel or think, you're not going to see any of it.

[ That mask is just as blank as it started. ]

Then we're at an impasse.

And you have your choices in front of you. I'm not going anywhere.

You're the one walking away, not me.

Edited 2022-12-08 18:21 (UTC)

[In response to that, she stalks back to her chair, sits back down, and stares at him.]

[ And he's just going to sit there. ]

...you have a curfew, remember?

Following Pagan's rules is a part of trying to do things his way. I'm strongly considering being done with that.

Does he know that?

I guess he'll find out, John.

I guess he will.

[He gives her five minutes. Five minutes in case she lost track of time. But when she doesn't budge on his item, he wanders over to the greenhouse, uncomfortable as it makes him, and shoves his hands in his pockets to hide his feelings about being here.]

Well, well, well, what's all this?

You don't have to be in here.

[She says, immediately regretting having picked this particular place to make her little stand.]

You can just go.

[ John will use his hand to wave at Pagan, but he's just staying there. ]

[He glances between the two and shakes his head at her. John gets a quick dip of his head, but he's really in no mood for pleasantries.]

You're right. I don't have to be in here, but - alas, you've forced my hand. So here I am.

What happened?

I've decided that all this was an interesting experiment, but not worth the pain and effort of hitting my head against a brick wall over and over again. So, I'll leave the greenhouse--

[She stands stiffly, a hand still curled protectively over the rat that's snoozing inside her sleeve.]

But I'm through with curfew.

[He casts a nervous glance behind her and then to the doors.]

Oh? And why is that?

[Get the fuck out of here, Pagan!!! She quickens her pace, casting several glances back at John as she goes.]

I just told you why.

Yes, darling, I heard whatever you're posturing about. I want the real answer.

[He keeps his hands in his pockets and matches her pace.]

She doesn't want to apologize without making me work for it. And accommodate her. And that's my line.

[ He doesn't give a shit about Pagan knowing. ]

Sorry, Pagan.

Edited 2022-12-09 00:31 (UTC)

Because I want it to be a real apology.

[Her pace slows, and she turns back around fully.]

I can give you one that isn't well thought out anytime! But I thought we were going to have a real talk, and I met you more than halfway.

[Pagan stops with her.]

Well, what's the apology for?

Hurting him and Arthur. Obviously.

[He looks between them, lowering his voice.]

So why do you think you need to meet him halfway? You're not the wronged party, darling.

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