greatoldjohn | TLV Inbox

I think you're probably right. What are you cooking?

Whatever the kitchen offers for supplies that day. Lark liked the idea so he's been dropping things off.

Last one was a stir fry. We're still working on getting it right.

Oh, well, I'm good with stirfrys! I could help.

[ He's trying to figure out a delicate way to put this but he doesn't find one. Delicate isn't his strong suit.]

The ultimate goal is to make a nice meal for Arthur as an apology. If you wanted to be a part of that, maybe we could. But I don't want to pretend that isn't... the goal.

I'm not opposed.

[She says carefully, studying his face.]

I mean, just because my feelings are complicated doesn't mean I didn't shoot him. I'm willing to do something nice to make up for that.

Well, we're going to talk about your feelings. So let's put that aside for the moment to... do that.

[Misty finally moves to sit, careful not to unbalance the rat as she does so, pulling her legs up onto her chair to sit crosslegged.]

Well, did you have any specific questions that you want to start with?

I'd like to hear what you have to say. And then I'll ask questions.

I don't think either of you deserved to be hurt.

[The rat lets out a little squeak, and Misty quietly shushes her, still lightly stroking her back.]

But at first, I had trouble regretting trying to help out Nat.

[ He isn't trying to be difficult, but he doesn't really move. Instead, there's a soft noise that almost seems to be a simple affirmative. Okay, all right. ]

Anything else?

Well, obviously I've discussed this extensively with Pagan. We talk a lot about my desire to do things for Natalie, even when they're not in her best interest.

...so this is all about Natalie.

Obviously there were other factors, but when you get down to it, yes, it was about Natalie.

I see.

[ His tone is very very neutral. ]

All right.

What?

[She asks warily, scooting her chair a half-inch closer.]

That's... all you wanted to say in person?

No, John.

[She says, blowing out a frustrated breath.]

I want to have a conversation. I didn't prepare a speech.

Okay. Well. What would you like to talk about?

I-- is that a trick question? What happened, obviously.

No, it's not a trick question. [ That comes out just a little huffy. ]

But you're the one who said you wanted to discuss things in person. That there were things you wouldn't discuss over the communicators. So... let's talk about them.

I want to have a serious talk about what happened, but you're totally brick-walling me, John! It's not a conversation if you're just sitting there saying "Okay" and "What else?"

I don't know what you want to talk about! You made out like you were holding back all these big questions or big pronouncements but you didn't want to put it over the communicator! I'm trying to give you space to ask what you want!

Okay, well, what did we say about assuming! There is a lot that I want to have a discussion about, but it's hard to do that when you've barely responded to anything I've said so far.

[She uncurls herself, planting her feet on the ground and leaning forward, hands knotted into fists in her lap.]

It's not assuming when you literally told me three times in the last discussion that we couldn't discuss something because you wanted to discuss it in person!

[ That's grumbled out. ]

And I'll say something when literally anything you say actually addresses me. So far, the only thing you've said about me is that I don't deserve to be shot.

So, I said I wanted to talk with you in person about what happened, and you assumed that meant I was hiding a secret I was preparing a big reveal for, when really I just didn't want to have an emotional, in-depth conversation about it over text, immediately after it happened. The emotional, in-depth text conversation about everything else was trying enough.

[A tight, uncomfortable smile spreads across her face, and her fingers twist together more tightly.]

At first, I struggled with the idea of regretting any of what happened, because Natalie was upset and distressed. Helping people I care about when they're upset and distressed is very important to me. One of the reasons why I'm an inmate seems to be that I do things most people don't like when I try to help people I care about. Do you have anything to say about that, John?

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